I'm Not Dead

Not Dead.


That would be my entire message to people when it looked like maybe i fell off the face of the earth for any given point in time during college. So i guess i'm not through the falling off the earth phase yet.

Anyways. I'm not dead. Not yet at least. I've done little more than color on walls with little kids in Sunday school. But i guess i'm doing something right cause they think i'm responsible enough to be in charge of little kids.

anyways, i'm gonna go be not dead some more... I'll be back eventually.

Focus

So I'm slowly getting my focus back. It's amazing how sometimes having one conversation can change your whole perspective. Even if the conversation isn't about you or specifically to help you, it can. So now I'm off to get some stuff done and get pumped and focused again so I have something to write about again.

April 2010

April is almost over and I have yet to post goals of any kind. Not sure how I feel about that. Anyways, here's what I've been up to lately.

Operation "Get rid of 365 Things" has helped me make a little progress in my closet. I now know that all of the shoes I have fit, are in good condition, and are well loved. They are also all very stylish. I will be very well dressed this summer, if only from the ankle to the floor. I'm hoping that next month I can make a bit more progress. Maybe finally get rid of any pants and skirts that I don't like or don't fit. Then I'll be well dressed from the waist down. Which to me is a good start. In the movies when they show good looking people they always start from the floor up.

I've also been working on a new project with two good friends. Kinda keeping it hush hush right now, but I'm hoping that it will be up and running by the end of the summer. We've all apparently had ideas about it for around a year but didn't really know that the others did too. So three projects became one project and now we're all working together and having a blast doing it.

I now teach the 3-5 year old sunday school class at church. My mom says I got the class because I'm a big little kid. Quite possibly true. This week we colored on the walls. I got chalkboard paint last week and we painted one of the walls in our classroom. It turned out pretty good. I think I may post pics when I finish decorating the rest of the room. The little kids loved it. So did the other teachers. I think we may end up doing a board in some of the other classes next week.

Other than that life has been one big blur. Maybe next month I'll do a lot better with remembering to write about it as it happens.

Happy Spring

In honor of the spring cleaning that I'm doing in my life, I figured I'd do a little makeover on the site. This week everything is getting a simpler, more streamlined look. I will also be setting up a posting schedule that will last through the summer. Hopefully this will be the end of week long gaps between posts and will jump start the summer happiness we all need. Let me know what you think of the changes.

Easter Weekend

Well, after 2 weeks with only one post total, I'm back. April is here and I'm ready to report on my first real spring weekend.

It started with a few hours on YouTube Friday afternoon. The church convention is in July and my friends have managed to get sucked into being on the youth department staff. We just found out that one of our friends won't be going for the whole week, so we had to find someone else to do the job she usually does. Giving the music crazy folks the job of figuring out how to put choir stuff together is not a good idea. We spend too much time listening to music as is... Anyways, two of us had already each had a song get stuck in our head and Friday we got to clue in the third and final part of our little circle. And she loved it, so we got distracted and sat in front of the computer for an hour or so listening to music and laughing about how everybody would be sooo tired of us singing parts of these songs by the time july came around.

Then it was off to the movies. Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married Too?" on opening night. Greatness. I'm not sure it was the movie that made it great so much as who I saw it with. Plus, stereotypical black movie + stereotypical black movie crowd = hilariousness. People talked back to the screen, made loud side comments, the whole theater laughed. And to me, it looked like it was set up so there could be a third movie in the set. I love endings like that. If nothing else happens you're still happy, but there wouldn't be a ridiculous plot jump to deal with if they decide to do another one.

Saturday was even better. A shopping day in Philly with Ms Fabulous was just what I needed. We did what we went to do and then wandered a little. I think the only bad part of the day was when each of us managed to find something we loved that was seriously out of our price range. And I do me seriously. If only we had now what we see ourselves having in the future. I mean, what girl couldn't use a fabulously flashy necklace or strapy heels to bring in the spring season... Oh well. It all got better when we saw LUSH!

As many times as I had heard other girls gush about the store I had seriously never been in one. It was sooo great. If you think shopping should be an experience, beauty doesn't have to hurt, and natural is good, then this is the store for you. As soon as we set foot in the door the salesperson was helping us figure everything out. She explained how everything is made, what the products were, what scents went with what, how everything works, and my favorite part - what products she uses. If the people who work there don't love what they sell, then why should I? She took us through her favorites for bath, haircare, and skincare and in the end we both wanted to buy and come back for more. I ended up getting a solid conditioner and a face mask. Didn't try the mask yet - that's for tonight - but the conditioner was ridiculous!!! I washed my hair that night and couldn't stop touching it the next day. It is soo super soft. And honestly, I'm not even sure I used it the right way - solid conditioner is a little different than liquid conditioner, takes some getting used to.

And to send off the weekend on a high note, yesterday was easter sunday. My mom made me a little easter basket, just cause I'm a big kid. I've been wanting a snickers egg and a peanut butter cup egg since they started selling them again - if i'm lucky they'll have stuff left over on sale for cheap later today. Then it was off to church to teach sunday school. I love my class. Little kids are so funny - although we're gonna have to get past what color is this someday... We learned about easter. "Easter is about Jesus" was as far as we could get with concentration though.

Short sermon for morning service and then family dinner at my aunt's house. It's amazing what happens when you try to get my family together. Ms Fabulous calls us The Mafia since there are so many of us but we're still so close. You have to have a thick skin and a sense of humor to hang out with us. At one point they managed to ask my aunt and uncle 'Why did you get married' which turned into 'why won't you get married' for three of my cousins. Hilarious.

And now it's time to get back to the real world and figure out what I'm going to do with April. There's a few more weekends, my birthday, and then it'll almost be time for graduation in May. Time to get moving I guess...

The Epic Fail that is March

Yeah so epic fail this month. I had such high hopes too. I guess I just have to turn around and make the most of April when it gets here. There is no way I will let April be an epic failure too. It is my birthday month after all. So at least the 22nd will be a good day. I have this thing about letting my birthday be horrible. It just can't happen.

Last year I had senior project presentations all day on my birthday so I delegated party planning and let one of my best friends plan it for me. We partied the night before, sang happy birthday around midnight, and everyone partied while I went to sleep. Presentations were a success and we partied again that weekend after they were over.

No where near the epic production that is JAbram Week, but still, a success. Maybe I'll have a birthday party in DC with all my friends even though I don't technically live there anymore. Something good has to happen. I refuse to let April be an epic failure too. I'll post some of my goals for the month later this week. For now, I'm going to make sure the rest of March is somewhat of a success. Or at least try anyways...

Projects

In the last Focus On: post we dumped our minds and came up with a massive list of stuff. This time, we'll focus on what to do with all of that stuff. This is where the Calendar and To-Do list will eventually come in. But for now we'll just focus on the massive list. First, we get to organize the list. You can rewrite each of these on separate pieces of paper. You can put stickers next to list items, star them or highlight them as we go along. Do whatever works for you.

There are two ways to look at organizing the list.

One way is to think about what you want out of life, your mantra, manifesto or end of life goals and narrow down your focus so that everything you do reflects the type of person you want to be. The other way is to think about everything you do on a daily basis and then work up the chain once you have those under control.

Since you're reading this blog, chances are you're like me and prefer to start with what you want the big picture to look like.

In either case, you'll want to go down your list and put your items into groups. Since most of the things on my list were bothering me because of my thinking that I want my life to look a certain way, my groups are based on things that appear to be a part of some large goal or project. They are areas of my life that I want to change. Here are some examples from my list.

1. Many things on my list focused on things I wanted to get, organize, or get rid of. When I looked at it again I realized that it was all about creating a spacious, organized, inviting place to live and work. So I labeled it "Home". This category has everything that deals with tangible items that I want to do something about, apartment search ideas, chore lists, etc.
   
2. Another category was "Things I Want to Learn". This turned into "Education/Career".
   
3. Other categories were lists of things I want to change about myself. "Personal".
   
4. Some things didn't seem to go with anything so they stayed by themselves

If you notice, some of these are evident in my "10 Things" list from earlier this year. This is how I decide what my goals and projects will be. Categorizing your list should help you see the types of overall goals and projects that you want to work on. Many times the things on our minds are bothering us simply because we didn't take the time to think them through and do something about them. Don't think too much about the categories if you get stuck. They'll become clearer as you work through the list and add more to it each day.

Using the categories on your list you should be able to clarify a few of your projects. Some of mine are

1. Create a clean, organized, open area to live in.
2. Learn Spanish, French, and Japanese
3. Be more organized, productive, and accountable
4. Get in shape

You'll notice that I used the word projects instead of goals. Mostly that's because I haven't yet defined a way to know when I'm done. In my world, projects can go on forever, but goals have to be measurable. I can keep "Improving my cooking skills" but once I "Learn 5 new recipes" I have to move on to something else. In the next post we'll focus on setting new and better goals, but for now we'll just pay attention to the projects you have. This will help us to get started, organized and be productive as quickly as possible.

The most effective way to make progress on your projects is to pick one or two to focus on at a time. I suggest picking the one that needs to be done first or the one that bothers you the most. That way you'll be able to appreciate how the system works and how much progress you're making. For me, I need to make money, so I'll be focusing on my job search. For the rest of your projects, remember, we want to write everything down. You may want to keep a notebook page, or an entire notebook devoted to your future projects. I have a whole notebook filled with things I'll do when I have free time, get bored, finish one of my other projects. For example, I want to learn several foreign languages, build a glass top table over a fish tank (i like pet fish!), and learn to cook a 5 course meal, but now isn't the time. I'll keep the ideas in my notebook until I can use them.

My Current Projects List

1. Blog
2. Career
3. Church
4. Home
5. Money
   
6. Personal

Next time I'll let you know some of the goals I've come up with for each of my project categories.

If you can't quite understand the whole process of getting from a random list to a projects list, I recommend that you read Getting Things Done by David Allen. That's where the whole process is taken from. He explains more in depth how to work from concepts down to tasks, and from tasks up to concepts when planning out your life.

Family Funeral

Wow. I am sooooo behind. I was away this weekend so I guess what I originally wanted to spend this weekend on kinda flew into Monday and Tuesday. Anywho... I'm back. Today is catch-up day. And there should be at least two more posts between today and tomorrow so I can catch up by Friday. And when I get through all this learning about project planning, hopefully it'll never take me a whole week to get back on track after a weekend away.

SO, here's the weekend update, before we get to another weekend...


This weekend was pretty cool for me. I got to see a part of my family that I haven't seen since I was about 2. About a week ago, my mom's dad's sister's husband died. I say it like that because it's sooo much easier to understand when you spell it all out.

Since I hadn't been in a while, I went with my mom and her sister to the funeral in South Carolina. Wadmalaws Island, South Carolina. I don't think many people have ever heard of it. It's right outside of Charleston. And apparently about half the people there are related to me in some way. There's even a road named after the family. Although that's a pretty basic thing in most places. a lot of roads are named after the people who lived there when they were built.


I thought that was kind of weird at first but then I thought about it. My grandpop's family had 10 brothers and sisters. I think 2 died, and the rest had at least 5 kids each. And then almost all of their kids had at least a kid or two. So yeah, there are a lot of us. It's a running joke in the family that you have to ask people who their parents are when you date because there are so many last names.

They like to tell the story of two cousins who had gone on one date with each other and then were at church when they asked everybody in the family to stand. They were both on opposite sides of the church and both stood. I'd hate to have that happen, but I can see how it could. I saw sooo many people at the funeral that I had never seen before. And that was mainly the family of one of my grandfather's sisters. There are still some parts of the family that I've never seen. Hopefully we'll get to have a family reunion soon and I can meet some more people. the ones I met this time were really cool.

We drove down on Friday so we could take our time and enjoy the trip. On the way we stopped at South Of The Border.


It's a rest stop just below the border from NC and SC where they used to stop every time they went down south. Apparently this used to be a big thing. Not so much anymore. I thought it was really cool, but stuff isn't open as long as it used to be. I guess people don't really road trip like that anymore. I could see it being open 24 hours a day if people drove like they used to. I took pictures of all the South of the Border Pedros and got a bumper sticker and some post cards for my collection. With the exception of the fact that we were going because of a funeral, the weekend was pretty nice.

I think I'm going to have to post more about my family from time to time. There will definitely be another post if we have a family reunion. And one when I make the red rice that cousin Rose taught me how to make. And when I see my cousins who live in Philadelphia, that I didn't meet until we were in South Carolina. Go Figure.

Getting Started

If you're anything like me, you always have some kind of project that you're working on. Some kind of great idea floating around in your head. Some kind of super awesome, imagination using, adrenaline pumping, brain flowing idea. And you have no idea where to start. Big ideas never seem to work out exactly the way you want them to. You get lost in a mountain of notes on post-its, calendars get squished and overloaded, and your to-do list grows to a mile long. This month is the end of all of that. I'm going to lay out the basics of why and how we so epically fail, and show you where to look for help and answers.

To get started, I suggest doing what many productivity people call a "mind dump". All you need is a cool looking notebook and a pen or pencil that works. If you have trouble finding either of those or you manage to find 50 or so pens that look exactly the same, don't worry about it. I've been there. Boy have I been there.

The main point of the mind dump is to dump your mind. Write down any and every thing that you can think of. Ballet practice is next tuesday. The football game is saturday at noon. Buy new shoes. I need more applesauce. Whatever you think of. Don't censor yourself or leave anything out. Nothing is unimportant. And don't try to orgainze the list. You'll just get distracted. We'll worry about that later. This may take some time, so don't be afraid if you have to sit there for a few minutes, or hours. If you have other things that you need to do, it's alright to get up and do them, but take your list with you. And write down anything you think of while you're doing what needs to be done. While it's ideal to take a weekend or at least a few hours to do this, life goes on and sometimes you can't. Just keep plugging away and soon you won't be able to think of much more that's on your mind or has been bothering you.

Since we're starting with a clean slate, I think now would be a god time to clear your desk and calendar of those annoying post-it notes. They're great reminders. I use them all the time. But they were not meant to be used by themselves. And they are not helpful if you have 20 of them around your computer screen, 30 on the wall calendar, 6 in a notebook, 3 behind the couch, etc. Take all of these and all other random scraps of paper with notes on them and write them at the bottom of your mind dump list.

Now a lot of people suggest also clearing your calendar and email, but that doesn't really work for most people. After all, most of us still have things that we will have to do and places to be while we're getting organized. And emails come in every two seconds at the peak of the day. I find it works best to just keep these two systems as they are and then tweak them as you go along. This way you'll learn how to keep your calendar organized and your inbox at zero without setting aside an entire week to hit delete over and over again.

Now that your mind is clear it should be much easier to tackle the planning and execution of your major project. This calmness will only be there if you have a clear mind. So take your mind dump list with you and be sure to write things down as soon as you think about them. Duplicates are going to happen at first, but you'll realize that the more you write things down, the less you have to remember. And that frees your mind to think about other, more creative and useful, things.

In the next post we'll tackle the to-do list. Until then, dump all that clutter from your mind, clear all your thoughts, and enjoy your post-it and scrap-paper-free life.

Focus On: Project Organization

This month, I will be focusing on a major project. My Career. While most of the details will be about my job search, the majority of the posts this month will offer tips to help you start, organize, track and finish any major project.

Here's a preview of what I will be writing about:
How To Start - Setting Goals and Establishing Habits
Taming Your Monster of a Calendar
To-Do Lists
Folders, Files, and Notebooks
How, When and Why to Track Your Progress

Throughout the month I will also be writing about books and products that have helped me to redesign my career and organize my projects and my life. Hopefully this month of focus will help you to figure out what you want to do with your precious moments and how you want to affect the world around you. Or at least help to get all the small stuff cleared up so you can think about it.